Present Parenting – How to Connect with your Kids

sereneshift — Fri, 24 Jan 2020 20:30:14 +0000

Present Parenting – How to Connect with your Kids

What kind of parent do you strive to be? Do you struggle with being present while spending time with your children? Do you want to feel less stress and more connection with your kids?

In today’s busy society, it can be very challenging to come home from work and feel relaxed and present with your kids. Even though you’re clocked out of the office, there’s no clocking out of your job as a parent. You probably have a lot on your mind after work hours, from getting dinner on the table to making sure homework is done.

Children don’t necessarily realize this. Ultimately, they just want one thing from you… they want you. They want your focus and attention.

WHY IS PRESENT PARENTING IMPORTANT?

Full focus and attention communicates many things:

I love you.
You are important to me.
Yes, I am listening to you. I want to connect with you and feel close to you.
You can trust me, I am dependable.

Listening is a beautiful gift we can offer everyone in our lives, especially our family members. When we feel heard and understood, our brain releases oxytocin that can stimulate motivation, reduce stress, increase feelings of satisfaction, and reduce anger. We also feel safe when we feel heard. When we feel safe, we are more inclined to be kinder to ourselves and make better decisions.

Lastly, when we listen to our kids’ stories and clarify what we heard them say, we create a space for our children to develop their sense of self and learn to solve their own problems. Present parenting, or giving kiddos our undivided attention, and creating a safe space for our children to become who they want is a true gift.

5 WAYS TO INCORPORATE PRESENCE WITH YOUR KIDDOS

1- Wake up a little earlier than your kids and take five mindful minutes for yourself. Close your eyes and feel your heart beating, bring attention to your breath, bring attention to your chest rising up and down. Think of three things you are thankful for in life.

2- Notice one specific thing about your child that you enjoy. For example:

I love our time together.
I really enjoyed watching that movie with them last night.
I love reading books with them before bed.
I’m thankful for the person they are.

When it feels right, tell your kiddo what you enjoy about them.

3- When arriving at home after work, set your intention. What would you like to achieve: more connection, greater presence, increased focus or empathy, better listening? Enter your home with this intention in mind so you can act accordingly.

4- During conversations with your child, give them your full, undivided attention. Put devices away, maintain eye contact, and turn your body toward them so your child knows you’re actively listening.

5- Do your best to prioritize. Ask yourself: In this moment, what is the most important thing to do? Prioritization can help you clear your mind for less stress and more presence.

Like anything else, present parenting in this fast-paced world of distractions takes practice; you have to take time to incorporate these practices in your daily life. I’m confident that soon enough, you’ll feel less stress, a greater sense of calm, and more connection to your kiddos.

If you need help working through the challenges of parenting and adoption, I’m always here. Reach out to schedule a virtual or in-person appointment now.

The post Present Parenting – How to Connect with your Kids appeared first on Serene Shift.

Beat the Holiday Blues & Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

sereneshift — Fri, 20 Dec 2019 20:19:35 +0000

BEAT THE HOLIDAY BLUES & SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER (SAD)

During the holiday season, we’re inundated with movies and advertisements of festive families who all seem so happy, peaceful, beautiful… you know, perfect. For most of us mere mortals, though, the holiday season often brings up some conflicting emotions:

Happiness over seeing family and friends
Stress over budgeting for and buying gifts
Overwhelm when ensuring that everything is perfect for company

On top of this, seasonal affective disorder–a type of depression that is related to the changing seasons–can also leave you feeling more fatigued and emotional during the fall and winter months, thanks to fewer daylight hours and less sunlight.

If you’re experiencing the holiday blues or struggling with seasonal affective disorder, try these strategies that I guide my clients through every day. You’ll learn to shift your perspective and actually enjoy the end of the year!

TIP #1: GO FOR GRATITUDE

Rather than heading into the holidays with a laundry list of shortcomings and complaints, flip the narrative around. Every day, recognize a few things that you’re grateful for, such as:

Sunshine and flowers outside
Breathing
A healthy body
Friendships and loved ones
Good food to eat
A home to sleep in

Jotting down a short list every day is a powerful tool to beat the holiday blues and seasonal affective disorder. It makes your gratitude “real,” which is huge considering that the positive effects of gratitude can last for months afterward! Plus, keeping a gratitude journal can be a great way to track positive progress.

Finally, noticing the things you normally take for granted and expressing your gratitude “rewires” your brain in a positive way, helping you to become happier and less depressed. Studies have found that gratitude can also move you away from negative emotions like resentment and envy. So, make your gratitude list a daily habit this holiday season.

TIP #2: PRACTICE MINDFULNESS

Our lives are awfully busy these days, even more so during the packed holiday season and end-of-the-year crunch. Mindfulness techniques like meditation, which have been practiced for thousands of years, can prioritize our mental and physical wellness during hectic times and throughout the year.

Mindfulness enables us to simply exist only in the moment without being pulled forward or backward. We can ease into situations and experience things–good or bad–as they come our way, without judgment. Research shows that mindfulness benefits our mental health as well as our hearts, immune systems, brains, and more.

If you catch yourself constantly worrying about what’s next, obsessing over something from the past that can’t be changed, or agonizing over making everything perfect during the holidays, turn to mindfulness. The following techniques can beat back the holiday blues and ease the symptoms of seasonal affective disorder.

Take a few deep breaths. Focus on the breath flowing through your body.
Scan your body, starting at your feet and moving upwards.
Notice your five senses–note five things you can see, feel, hear, smell, and taste.
Practice moments of self-compassion.
Take a walk and focus on being present with the sights, sounds, and feelings.

The next step is to apply this approach to all areas of life. Melt into conversation at the holiday table, really listen, and stay in the here and now. The year end will feel a whole lot more enjoyable.

TIP #3: EAT PURPOSEFULLY

Holiday celebrations (and those cold winter months) tend to involve a lot of food. It’s easy to wolf down meals, barely giving them a second thought until you feel lethargic or unhealthy.

Take a second to slow down. The next time you grab for a plate, clear your head and focus on what you’re eating.

What does it smell like?
What’s the texture like?
How does the food feel in your mouth?
Which areas of your mouth are responding?

By taking the time to be present while eating, you’ll feel more fulfilled by your food and enjoy the experience.

YOU CAN BEAT THE HOLIDAY BLUES AND SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER

Small changes go a long way. Shifting your perspective can mean the difference between feeling overwhelmed by the holiday blues and truly enjoying your time with yourself and your loved ones.

If you need help making the shift and overcoming depression, anxiety, seasonal affective disorder, eating disorders, or similar challenges this holiday season, please reach out to me. I’m passionate about providing you with the tools you need to better understand what you’re going through and how to make healthy choices, so you can find happiness.

The post Beat the Holiday Blues & Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) appeared first on Serene Shift.

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Present Parenting – How to Connect with your Kids