Trauma Archives - Serene Shift https://sereneshift.com/tag/trauma/ Justine Weber Psy.D. :: Psychological Services Fri, 04 Sep 2020 22:34:08 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.6.2 https://sereneshift.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/ss-favicon.png Trauma Archives - Serene Shift https://sereneshift.com/tag/trauma/ 32 32 How to Manage Anxiety and Panic Attacks More Effectively https://sereneshift.com/how-to-manage-anxiety-and-panic-attacks-more-effectively/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=how-to-manage-anxiety-and-panic-attacks-more-effectively Sat, 01 Aug 2020 22:18:37 +0000 https://sereneshift.com/?p=25870 The post How to Manage Anxiety and Panic Attacks More Effectively appeared first on Serene Shift.

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How to Manage Anxiety and Panic Attacks More Effectively

How much time and mental energy do we spend stressing about what could occur tomorrow, next month, or next year? How often do we worry about trying to prevent something that might never happen?

Anxiety is the body’s way of responding to stressful situations, creating a fight-or-flight response in the face of danger. When your sympathetic nervous system activates, it increases heart rate and alertness, preparing you for action.

Occasional anxiety can be helpful when responding to a serious threat or in less deadly situations that need our attention, like preparing for a job interview.

Frequent anxiety and panic attacks, however, can be very harmful to mental and physical health. If you are constantly in activation mode, geared up for action and anxious and worried over everyday events, your body and mind can become debilitated.

Developing healthy habits to prevent and respond to anxiety is essential for staying calm, happy, and at your best. In this article, I’m explaining what you need to know about anxiety:

  • The causes and symptoms of anxiety
  • How to manage anxiety in the short and long term
  • How to get through panic attacks
  • Strategies for minimizing everyday anxiety and feeling calmer and more grounded

Types of Anxiety Disorders and Symptoms

We’ve all experienced anxiety at one time or another. It’s normal to sometimes worry about things like performing well at work or school, raising kids, and going on a first date.

Anxiety disorders go beyond normal worrying. People with anxiety disorders experience frequent, intense, and persistent worry about everyday scenarios. Common symptoms include the following.

  • Feeling nervous, tense, or restless
  • A sense of panic or impending doom
  • Trouble focusing on anything but worrying
  • Feeling weak or tired
  • Fatigue and/or trouble sleeping
  • Higher than normal heart rate
  • Sweating and/or trembling
  • Hyperventilation

Anxiety disorders come in many forms. Below are three of the most common types.

  • Generalized anxiety disorder: Excessive worrying or fear for little or no reason. The worry and fear can be constant and debilitating.
  • Panic disorder: Sudden and overwhelming fear that triggers a panic attack. Symptoms of a panic attack include chest pain, excessive sweating, noticeable heartbeat (palpitations), and shortness of breath.
  • Social anxiety disorder: Intense worrying or self-consciousness in social situations. People with social anxiety disorder may obsess over being embarrassed in front of others.

What Causes Anxiety?

Triggers are cues in the environment which can lead to anxiety. They can be external or caused internally via the senses. Common anxiety triggers include:

  • Sensations (such as smell or touch) that remind you of a traumatic event, such as a medical emergency
  • Revisiting traumatic areas, like a certain room or street
  • Overwhelming environments
  • Thoughts of the future or past
  • Thoughts about something you haven’t finished
  • Focusing on something you wished was different or didn’t happen
  • Financial stress
  • Health conditions and/or medications
  • Thinking about anxiety (anxiety or panic attacks can be triggered by the mere thought of having anxiety)

Normally, anxiety is a natural and temporary response to stress. However, it is important to note that frequent feelings of anxiety condition our brains to have more anxiety in the future.

If you’ve gone through this and now experience constant anxiety or fear that becomes overwhelming, you may be dealing with an anxiety disorder.

How to Manage Anxiety

Shifting to a healthier, more sustainable way of thinking is not easy. How does anyone break unhealthy habits? The answer is: greater awareness.

Our brains are so complex, yet can be simple when we really understand the wiring that forms unhealthy results. To alter unhealthy habits, our brains need new information in order to carve out new pathways that lead to different results.

By noticing the negative results of your actions–for example, worrying about tomorrow immediately makes it more difficult to breathe–you become more aware of your behavior and sensations.

This creates more clarity and understanding so you can begin to “uncondition” your brain and have a healthier attachment with anxiety. You can find a path to reset your brain and create more effective behavior. The more aware you are, the less overwhelming anxiety and panic attacks will be.

To address anxiety long-term:

1. Pay attention to your triggers.

2. Notice how they make you feel.

3. Be curious and investigate the behaviors they create.

Greater awareness can help to reset unhealthy behaviors and improve health and quality of life in the long run.

For your day-to-day needs, try implementing one of the following strategies. Once you’ve mastered that one, move on to the others.

1. Breath into anxiety

Anxiety can cause shallow breathing or shortness of breath, which can sometimes lead to even greater anxiety. In these moments, focus on your breathing. Mindful breathing is an easy way to relieve anxiety, decrease stress and depression, and help with chronic pain.

1. Sit or stand in a quiet area. Close your eyes.

2. Put your hands on your stomach.

3. Breathe in “calm” through your nose for 5 counts, hold for 5 counts. Open your mouth and breath out “anxiety” for 5 counts.

4. Notice your stomach rise and fall. Feel your heartbeat slow and become more even.

5. Do this 5 times.

6. Ask: What do you notice in your body?

Quick tip: Many of my patients also find it helpful to count breaths in order to calm themselves. For example, breathe in on 1, breath out on 2. Repeat, continuing to count 1-2, 1-2, or count up to 10 before starting over.

2. Examine your body (Body Scan)

In moments of extreme anxiety, shift your attention and focus to your physical sensations in your body.

  • Can you hear your heart beating?
  • Do you notice more sensations in the right or left side of your chest?
  • Do you feel heat in your chest?
  • Does your chest feel heavy or hollow?
  • What do you notice in your stomach?
  • Do you notice pressure, tension, tightness, emptiness, heaviness, heat, a prickly feeling, unease, pain, fidgeting, restlessness?
  • How does your jaw feel?

Embrace your attention with curiosity. The more specific and curious you are with the sensations in your body, the more resilience you will build when experiencing anxiety symptoms.

This is one technique that will guide you to lean toward your difficult sensations (resilience and strength) rather than resisting them (which makes anxiety symptoms worse).

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3. Notice what you are experiencing

One quick tip that I often share with my patients: bring awareness to what is already happening. When a panic attack hits, recognize that you’re having a panic attack and know that it will eventually pass.

Accept that you know what is happening, you know what to do, and that you will be okay. Remember that when you recognize your triggers, you are better prepared to handle triggers differently.

4. Build practical and daily routines

Having a practical daily routine creates space for you to feel secure, clear your mind, and ground yourself for your day. This will maximize your chances of being able to handle anxiety or panic more effectively and enhance your ability to regulate difficult emotions.

To start your routine, wake up a little earlier than you need to start your day. Spend 5 minutes in the morning alone to ground yourself.

For example: wake up, close your eyes for a body scan, then do 10 segments of short breathing exercises (counting 1-2, 1-2, etc.). Finish off by writing 3 things you are most thankful for today. When you get in the shower, bring attention to how the water feels on your back.

Also, give your body what it needs to thrive throughout the day. Eating a healthy diet is essential to good physical and mental health. Some foods in particular have been linked with reduced anxiety:

  • Salmon
  • Chamomile tea and green tea
  • Yogurt and other probiotic foods
  • Dark chocolate
  • Turmeric

Be sure to eat properly portioned meals at regular intervals to keep your energy levels consistent.

Lastly, don’t forget about the importance of sleep and exercise to your health. Anxiety can manifest physically in the body, especially if experienced long-term. Going to sleep and waking up at the same time every day takes care of your body and mind, injects calmness into your life, and minimizes anxiety.

5. Limit news and social media

In this fast-paced world, FOMO (the fear of missing out) can leave us glued to social media and news outlets. Endless feeds can make us addicted to the constant stream of information, much of which is negative and dramatic.

Experts call our addiction to negative news “doom scrolling.” This behavior can significantly contribute to anxiety and panic attacks.

Be aware of how actions affect your mental health. Notice what increases anxiety, such as ingesting too much news or social media. Assess whether you are more anxious after watching hours of the news and whether it is difficult for you to unplug from the constant stimulation.

These are indications that you may need to minimize news and social media. Ask yourself, “Is watching/reading/listening to this going to be helpful for me?” If the answer is no, realize that you have the control to walk away from something that is harmful to you.

6. Don’t avoid your anxiety — focus on what you can change

When faced with anxiety and/or panic attacks it’s often tempting to avoid triggers altogether, but trying to distract yourself from symptoms will also increase symptoms.

If you notice the symptoms coming, let them come. Ask yourself, “In this moment, what do I have control of?” Then, continue to identify your triggers and work on building a healthy response to anxiety-inducing situations in order to build resilience.

If you need assistance along the way, I am an experienced psychologist who specializes in anxiety disorders, depression, and more. I help patients “reset” ingrained thinking spirals that cause and exacerbate anxiety, and guide them toward a more serene life.

Contact me now to schedule a virtual appointment.

The post How to Manage Anxiety and Panic Attacks More Effectively appeared first on Serene Shift.

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Forget Homeschooling, It’s More Important to Keep Kids Mentally Healthy https://sereneshift.com/forget-homeschooling-its-more-important-to-keep-kids-mentally-healthy/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=forget-homeschooling-its-more-important-to-keep-kids-mentally-healthy Wed, 20 May 2020 23:30:14 +0000 https://sereneshift.com/?p=25831 The post Forget Homeschooling, It’s More Important to Keep Kids Mentally Healthy appeared first on Serene Shift.

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Forget Homeschooling, It’s More Important to Keep Kids Mentally Healthy

In these strange times, many of us have new family priorities and responsibilities. These might include working from home while homeschooling the children, taking care of parents or elderly relatives, and helping kids adjust to new, chaotic surroundings or respond to the death of a loved one.

It’s tough to know what to prioritize and how.

I understand that and am here to tell you that right now, it’s more important to keep kids mentally healthy than to homeschool them — and it’s more important for parents to stay sane than to try to do everything “right.”

Why is homeschooling so tough right now?

Homeschooling is usually a carefully planned choice made by parents who have the time, skills, and resources to make it work in the long-term. After all, developing and implementing an age-appropriate curriculum requires a significant time commitment.

During this global emergency, many of us parents have had homeschooling thrust upon us, on top of working and tackling more financial and household responsibilities than ever.

Not surprisingly, we’ve found out just how difficult it is to make this arrangement work. Younger children can find formal learning challenges even at the best of times, but particularly when they are away from the structured school environment and without the company of their peers.

Add the fact that we are living in highly unusual circumstances, separated from friends and family, and it’s no wonder that children may be resisting our efforts to engage with anything academic!

Parents, meanwhile, may be dealing with a lack of support from their children’s schools and/or a huge amount of homeschooling work that seems impossible to complete. Many parents report feeling anxious when they see an email or text message arrive from their child’s school.

How to address homeschooling challenges

If you and/or your children find homeschooling too stressful or anxiety-inducing, protect your mental health by ignoring or unsubscribing from communications until you feel calmer and more equipped to deal with them.

It may also be helpful to call your child’s teacher, if he or she is available, and let them know that identifying one or two key tasks per week would be more useful than a neverending stream of suggestions.

Remember that any work is not compulsory and your child will not be penalized if it isn’t done. The best way to approach anything sent by your children’s schools is to consider it a resource to leverage as you please, rather than the ticking time bomb of stress-producing homework.

Consider these less stressful homeschooling alternatives

Textbooks aren’t the only way to learn during coronavirus lockdown. There are many creative activities that provide great learning for kids, without binding them to traditional educational methods.

Creative activities are equally valuable for developing existing skills along with acquiring new ones, and the following activities are perfect for young children:

  • Drawing, coloring, and painting
  • Modeling with dough or clay
  • Reading together
  • Singing (particularly nursery rhymes)
  • Counting (whether this is beads and blocks or butterflies!)
  • Water or sand play
  • Den building

For older children, try these learning activities:

  • Brain puzzles like Sudoku, crosswords, and word searches
  • Free reading — feel free to move away from curriculum and let them choose their own materials
  • Online learning for kids, such as spelling or math apps
  • Jigsaw puzzles
  • Playing musical instruments or instructional video games
  • Baking and cooking
  • Planting a vegetable garden
  • Building with Legos
  • Listening to TED Talks
  • Researching topics online and presenting findings as a talk or powerpoint
  • Writing emails to family and friends
  • Watching educational and age-appropriate YouTube videos

Just remember that children need downtime to relax and recharge between meaningful activities. What this looks like depends on the needs of the individual child, but might include calling friends or family members, watching their favorite TV shows, playing games, reading, running in the garden, or playing with toys.

It’s also important that amidst the chaos, we find a few quiet moments with our children. Read, hug, or watch a movie. Talking to kids openly and honestly about the current situation, and the fact that even adults are trying to come to terms with these uncertain times, is the best way to help them manage overwhelming feelings.

A good rule of thumb is to listen first and talk second, letting your children lead the way with conversations about coronavirus and mental health.

How to build a routine that doesn’t revolve around homeschooling

Under any circumstances, children thrive with a good routine. Now more than ever, predictability is important in helping your child feel safe and secure.

Try to get up, do your morning routine, and eat breakfast at the same time. Build a couple of meaningful activities into your day and allow plenty of time for daily exercise, free play, and relaxation. Stick to your child’s usual bath and bedtime routine — getting enough sleep is vital.

You can also help protect your child’s mental health by ensuring that they eat a reasonably balanced diet that’s low in sugar and high in vegetables and whole grains, with lots of healthy snacks. Also feel free to indulge with sugary treats every once in a while.

Focus on your biggest responsibility

Right now, our job as parents must include showing our children how to manage anxiety in a healthy way. Anxiety is a recurring part of life and this is the perfect opportunity to teach children how to cope with it and respond with strength.

We can do this by being in the moment and staying adaptive to an ever-changing environment. Focus on what you have control over in the here and now, like the physical sensations in your body. Build awareness of how you feel in the present moment instead of thinking what might come to be in the future. Teach your child these strategies as well.

Also, help your child identify his or her worst fear. Get specific. Gaining clarity over exactly what we fear most oftentimes expands our acceptance and brings a sense of calm — we think “Hey, I can handle that.” This can lead to inner resilience and strength.

If children are struggling with anxiety, depression, isolation, eating disorders, or other negative behaviors, arrange for them to speak to a professional.

Lastly, it’s important to schedule time out for ourselves wherever possible. When we’re feeling calm and relaxed, it’s easier to keep our anxieties about homeschooling and parenting in perspective.

Tip: Check out these 9 self-care tips to beat isolation and loneliness.

Go easy on yourself and enjoy being a parent

Coping with the COVID-19 outbreak is a huge challenge, and we’re all anxious about the impact of the crisis on our children’s education and future prospects.

Instead of allowing our worries about homeschooling to spiral out of control, pursuing unrealistic targets and berating ourselves when we fail to meet them, we can focus on what can be done in the here and now to protect our own and our children’s mental health.

If you need help navigating these tough times and dealing with parenting challenges, relationship issues, depression, overwhelm, fear, anxiety, or similar issues, please schedule a virtual telehealth appointment with me.

I am offering a sliding scale for anyone who needs assistance.

The post Forget Homeschooling, It’s More Important to Keep Kids Mentally Healthy appeared first on Serene Shift.

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7 Ways to Guide Your Child Through Tragedy https://sereneshift.com/7-ways-to-guide-your-child-through-tragedy/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=7-ways-to-guide-your-child-through-tragedy Mon, 27 Jan 2020 11:00:30 +0000 https://sereneshift.com/?p=25786 The post 7 Ways to Guide Your Child Through Tragedy appeared first on Serene Shift.

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7 Ways to Guide Your Child Through Tragedy

The sudden death of Kobe Bryant, his young daughter Gianna, and seven others in a tragic helicopter accident have left families shaken, particularly around my Newport Beach community where many of the victims called home. During tough times like these, parents often struggle to help their children process news and work through intense emotions like anxiety, fear, and depression.

In this article, you will learn how to guide your child through a tragedy, particularly events that affect your larger community. We will discuss:

  • How to move past traumatic news event that can keep us stuck
  • Ways to make sense of news about a tragic death
  • Tips for ensuring we don’t fall into unhealthy patterns during grieving
  • How to respond positively for our children during tough times

How tragic current events can impact children

Most of us, including children and teenagers, hear news on TV, social media, and text quickly and often. News channels may break a story and then continue to play the same chaotic scene or coverage over and over again, overdramatizing coverage or adding misinformation.

Repeated exposure to these frantic news cycles can cause anxiety and obsessive ruminating thoughts in teenagers and children. It’s not uncommon for children to lose a sense of security and become fearful, developing fear as a defense mechanism to feel more in control of their chaotic surroundings and emotions.

These fears may be directly related to the situation at hand. For example, after hearing news of Kobe Bryant’s death, it’s understandable for children to become afraid of anything related to flying, helicopters, death, being away from home, or being alone.

Discovering a traumatic death on the news can also trigger other emotions from past trauma or a past death, such as the death of a grandparent, which can increase anxiety, fear, depression, insomnia, and repeated negative thinking.

Strategies to help your family through tough times

We need to be careful about what our children are exposed to and model healthy coping behaviors during difficult times. Assisting your child with developing healthy, sustainable coping skills is vital to ensuring they do not pursue unhealthy behaviors that create more suffering.

That brings us to the million-dollar question: how can we best teach our children to embrace tragedy with more strength?

1- You’ve probably heard the phrase “Put your own oxygen mask on first.” After hearing tragic news, identify what you need in any given moment for your own support. Ground yourself and treat yourself with compassion to create internal strength, so you can better assist your family.

2- Monitor your child’s social media, device, and TV exposure. Try to avoid having the TV on all day.

3- Be aware and notice any behavior that is not typical of your child. If they want space, this might be normal, but keep an eye out for any extreme or atypical behaviors such as: lack of appetite, not sleeping, isolation, not socializing, and extreme anger. Seek help if you notice extreme or dangerous behaviors.

4- After tragedy, you might be tempted to isolate yourself and avoid socializing or talking about tough topics. Your child, however, may need to work through questions and emotions by talking. If that’s the case, listen with full attention and focus when your child is talking to you. Make eye contact and show them that you are listening.

5- Similarly, be open to answering difficult questions if they are age-appropriate.

6- It’s okay to not know everything. Feel free to say “I don’t know” or “That’s a good question.” Sometimes just listening to your child is more meaningful than knowing all the answers.

7- Allow space for your child to experience any emotions, and try your best to assist them in staying present with their emotions and embracing them with kindness.

Experiencing difficult emotions is part of the healing process, so go through this process with your child, embracing it with loving, connected presence. Responding to a tragedy is never easy but it can be a wonderful opportunity to help your child and bring your family closer together.

If you need further guidance during tough times, please don’t be afraid to reach out for professional help. Make a virtual or in-person appointment today.

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