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For many of us, making New Year’s plans goes hand in hand with making new resolutions. It’s a January tradition to celebrate the calendar change with positive changes for ourselves. So why do so many people struggle to stick to resolutions?


Talking about what you want to be different and creating a space inside you for this change to occur are very different. True change always begins from the inside out, not from the outside in.

Oftentimes, we consider what we think will make us happy (more money, losing weight, etc.) rather than getting to the core of what will actually make us happy (self-acceptance, self-compassion, and a healthy mindset, for example).

We also tend to brag about our goals, which can trick our brain into thinking we’ve actually accomplished them. For example, when we tell friends and family members about our 2020 New Year’s resolution, our ego receives positive feedback for something we haven’t yet achieved. These short bits of “false” happiness can actually lull us into complacency.

Another aspect that makes it difficult to create healthy change is fear. When we think about making a change, our brains easily pursue fear and doubt, which puts us in a place of negativity that pushes us toward failure.

The truth is, true healthy change always comes from positive thinking rather than negative thinking or doubt. Growth arises from self-love.


Look back at your last resolutions and see if they stuck. If not, don’t beat yourself up, but there’s no reason to do the same thing and expect different results. This year, focus on shifting your perspective, your thinking, and your ideas of true change. Let’s start with these helpful strategies.

1- Get to the core of what makes you happy. Keep asking why. Why do I think I want to accomplish this? Am I doing this for myself or others?

2- Assess whether your 2020 New Year’s resolution is inspired by self-compassion and love or fear and doubt. Remember that true change comes from positive thoughts.

3- Set the intention to create change by practicing a different kind of thinking. Many of us fall back into ingrained thought patterns that no longer serve us. If you find yourself falling into negative thought loops, it’s time to learn a new way of thinking. (I specialize in helping people “retrain” their brains to learn more positive ways of thinking and establish healthier habits. If you need help this year, please reach out.)

4- Be kind to yourself. You can do this!

The new year is a great time to make positive change in your life, whether that means overcoming addiction or depression, managing anxiety, shifting your perspective, or learning how to be more compassionate to yourself and others.

Just remember that every day is an opportunity for change; you don’t need to wait for New Year’s Eve to take the first step. You can start now and restart and adapt when necessary. We are all a work in progress.

If you need help making your New Year’s resolution stick, or just learning to shift your perspective and thinking at any point during the year, I’m here to assist. I take an integrative approach to treatment that examines the whole you–mind, body, and spirit. Learn more and schedule an appointment now.

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