Marriage Archives - Serene Shift

Marriage and Family: Navigating Cultural Differences for Healthier Relationships

sereneshift — Mon, 05 Oct 2020 21:02:34 +0000

Marriage and Family: Navigating Cultural Differences for Healthier Relationships

Navigating cultural differences is a large part of what makes traveling so fun. At home, however, differing cultural norms and expectations can lead to tension within marriages or among family members.

Many of my patients struggle to bridge a cultural divide between them and their spouse–who is of a different culture, country, and/or religion–or between immigrant parents and first-generation children. Communicating across this chasm takes understanding, empathy, flexibility, and most importantly, practice.

Below, I explain the most common issues I see between spouses or loved ones of different cultures, such as:

1. Mismatched expectations around gender roles or parenting styles
2. A lack of understanding between parents and children who grew up in different places
3. Communication challenges or hostility between spouses or family members
4. Struggles around moving to America and adapting to everyday cultural differences and expectations

I also share some of the most effective strategies for overcoming these challenges to promote greater love and understanding.

Issue 1: Mismatched expectations around gender roles or parenting roles and styles

In romantic relationships, each of us come with certain assumptions and expectations about how our significant other should behave. These expectations about gender roles and parenting styles may be pretty far apart when partners come from different cultures and backgrounds.

For example, a woman born in China may believe that her spouse should be the sole family provider for their nuclear family while she raises the kids. The American husband may believe that both spouses should work full-time to support the family while a nanny provides the childcare. He might also want the family to primarily speak English at home, while his wife and in-laws want to raise the children mostly in Mandarin.

You may not even realize that you hold these internal assumptions around relationships and childcare, or that your partner and extended family don’t agree, until you fight about them for the first time. Experienced again and again, these disagreements cause significant marital and familial conflict.

The Solution:

Like with any type of martial or familial conflict, differing cultural expectations around familial roles and parenting are best resolved through better communication. In couples counseling, I help my patients agree upon their shared vision of the ideal marriage, home in on what each person would like to improve, and create a path forward.

Some general questions that could help you do this in your family or relationship include:

What do you need from me?
What can I do to support you?
How can I make you feel loved?
What can I do to make you happier?
What do you like best about our relationship?
What would our perfect relationship look like?

This is a great way to uncover assumptions and expectations that are leading to disagreements and have calm, positive discussion about how to move forward.

Issue 2: A lack of understanding between parents and children who grew up in different places

Cultural divisions also frequently show up between immigrant parents and first-generation children who grow up in different countries. Although they may be of the same race, their backgrounds could be completely different.

For instance, Korean parents who grew up in post-war South Korea and their Korean-American children growing up in the United States in the 2000s experience very different childhoods that determine their world view, values, communication style, and more. This can lead to consistent friction in the relationship.

Teenagers may feel misunderstood and smothered, causing them to act out in unhealthy ways, which can lead parents to become fearful for their children’s safety and become even more overprotective.

The Solution:

Bridging cultural divides within families comes down to a few essentials:

1. Allowing everyone to feel heard and be receptive about what is trying to be communicated
2. Examining what is needed to feel safe and secure in a relationship
3. Enhancing flexibility and resiliency
4. Managing fear impulses in a sustainable manner
5. Establishing respectful, realistic, and healthy boundaries
6. Replacing unhealthy expectations with realistic and sustainable ones

If you have tried to work through these issues with your family in the past, to no success, you should consider reaching out to a trained psychologist or family therapist. A neutral third-party can be very helpful in moderating emotionally fraught discussions and ensuring they head in a constructive direction.

During these types of discussions, I encourage family members to give everyone a chance to speak. No interrupting or shouting, just listening and then responding when it is your turn. Afterward, we work on setting healthy boundaries together.

For example, if the teenager feels smothered because their parents want to know where they are every minute, we might try phone check-ins at designated times instead. If parents feel that their child doesn’t respect their culture, perhaps agreeing to speak the parents’ native language at home can demonstrate respect and compassion.

Communicating more effectively, making sure everyone feels respected and heard, and enforcing healthy attachment styles can do wonders in overcoming a lack of understanding between family members who grow up in different places.

Issue 3: Moving to America and struggling to fit in or adapt your “old” culture with your “new” one

Moving to a new country makes us question our identity: Who am I in this new place? How do I integrate elements of my home country into my new home? How can I understand and adapt to new cultural norms that may go against my previous culture?

As a new American, your day-to-day life may be very different from what you are accustomed to, which can be uncomfortable.

The Solution:

The key to adapting to a new way of life is learning to be flexible. You may not love everything about your new home, but adopting a mindset of going with the flow and accepting what comes will make the most of your situation. Try the following strategies to stay flexible:

Give yourself time. Everyone who experiences a major life change, such as a move or a divorce, goes through an adjustment period where things feel new and overwhelming. Understand that it may take several months or years before you feel at home, or at least, less overwhelmed.
Be kind. Prioritize self-care, such as cooking your favorite family meals and getting enough sleep. It’s normal to feel homesick, angry, and depressed. You may experience changes in your eating and sleeping habits.
Connect with others and build your support network. Find a new church, join an English language learning group, meet fellow expats. Lean on your family and friends from your previous home when you need to discuss your frustrations or speak your native language.
Stay curious. Think of obstacles like figuring out your bus route or shopping for groceries as opportunities to explore your new life.

Finding the middle ground takes practice

When you are from different cultures, meeting your spouse, family members, or neighbors halfway takes practice. The tips above can put you on the right path toward bridging the gap.

If you need additional help communicating with your partner or family member from another culture, or are struggling to navigate the anxieties of a new life, please reach out to me.

I can guide you through depression, anxiety, couples counseling, and similar issues. Schedule an appointment (video or in-person) with me now.

The post Marriage and Family: Navigating Cultural Differences for Healthier Relationships appeared first on Serene Shift.

5 Marriage Issues That Can Lead to Divorce (and How to Fix Them)

sereneshift — Thu, 09 Jul 2020 17:38:23 +0000

5 Marriage Issues That Can Lead to Divorce (and How to Fix Them)

We live in a fast-paced world full of rapid delivery, quick fixes, and immediate communication over high-speed internet. Primed to expect instant gratification, we can find a relationship with our intimate partner to be frustrating; it takes a lot of work, intention, trial and error, and experience.

Sometimes, things don’t always go as planned. The good news is that most struggling marriages experience a similar handful of problems and that these issues are fixable if both people are committed to the relationship.

Below, I explain five common marriage problems that can lead to divorce–and how to fix them to get your marriage back on track.

COMMON MARRIAGE PROBLEMS & THEIR SOLUTIONS

1. Unproductive fighting

Every marriage goes through periods of adversity. Fighting is expected. What sets successful marriages apart from others is learning how to fight in healthy ways, which can shift resentment into growth.

Most struggling married couples that I see in my practice tend to focus on who is “right” and who is “wrong,” which keeps them running on the hamster wheel of more pain and dissatisfaction. Let’s be honest, we all know how badly that feels.

How to move forward:

Remember that all human beings have the same need: to feel secure. We need to feel safe in our environment to function well.

In a marriage, this can get very complicated; if we fear our partner will leave, our fear of being left can turn into anger about being abandoned (emotionally, physically or sexually). All of this complicates our ability to communicate well and to “fight well.”

Learn what is going on with your partner underneath the verbal chatter. I encourage couples to focus on the physiological clues in their partner’s communications: body language, voice tone, facial expression, eye contact, body positioning, fluctuating breath, physical tics, etc.

Because body language can communicate much more than verbal language, focusing on it can leave spouses more attuned to each other’s wavelengths and encourage positive communication habits, such as active listening and responding.

It can also lead to body language mirroring between spouses, which may strengthen the relationship and translate to better verbal communication as well. In my experience, better communication means a better relationship.

2. Infidelity

The most important distinction between a friend who shares a connection with you and your marital partner is sex. We typically do not have sex with our friends, we have sex with our partner. As a result, we have a much stronger level of trust, loyalty, priority, and security with our partner.

When a spouse or partner cheats and breaks that bond, it can lead to a variety of negative effects in both people:

Loss of trust in the cheating partner
Feelings of anger, confusion, betrayal, shame, and guilt
A sense of emotional instability or loss
Decreased intimacy between partners, including sexual intimacy
Damaged confidence and self-esteem
Impacts to other areas of life, such as decreased work productivity or changes in relationships with other family members (e.g., children)

How to move forward:

Infidelity can be one of the most difficult relationship hurdles to overcome but it is possible to move forward.

In my practice, I often work with couples and individuals who are struggling with various marriage and relationship issues, including infidelity. Some spouses decide to work through it and we use couples therapy to help them get their relationship back to a good place. We explore issues and negative feelings around the infidelity and rebuild communication channels and trust.

Other times, couples decide to separate and we work through their divorce in a safe space. I act as a neutral third-party to help them communicate, focus on finding calm in the chaos, and course through separation step by step.

At that point, I frequently work with former spouses individually to help them discover what life looks like after divorce and how they can grow and maintain a sense of self. Who am I after my relationship? What is my life going to be like? How can I help my kids get through this? Those are the questions I help my patients to answer.

If you need help responding to infidelity in your relationship, schedule an appointment with me now.

3. Cultural differences or misaligned expectations

Every culture has its own relationship norms, gender roles, and ways of communicating, which can make relationships across cultures challenging for many couples. In my practice I frequently see Chinese-American couples or mixed-culture relationships (one Chinese partner and one American partner) struggling to navigate cultural differences, honoring their Chinese culture while also navigating American customs.

The most common marriage problem among these couples is mismatched expectations. For example, the husband believes that his spouse should be a mother and housekeeper while the wife wants to put off having kids to pursue her career.

Or, the wife believes that her husband should be more communicative of his feelings while the husband believes that men should be stoic.

How to move forward:

Communication is the best way to overcome mismatched expectations in a relationship. Share your culture with your partner and discuss some of the assumptions you bring to the relationship due to your background.

For example, if you and your spouse constantly argue over childcare duties, set aside some time to calmly talk about why.

Do you expect your spouse to stay at home and take care of the children throughout the day because that is the standard in your culture? Or do you expect your working spouse to contribute to childcare and house chores because your culture encourages an equal division of labor among spouses?

If you feel that your spouse is not as expressive in his or her feelings as you would like, discuss whether that behavior is typical in your spouse’s culture and why you expect your spouse to be open.

Not all relationship problems are caused by cultural differences, but you may be surprised how often culture and past experiences inform our expectations of our romantic partners.

4. Stagnation

At the beginning of a relationship, everything is fun and new. It’s easy to be in love and feel strongly connected as a couple.

Then, life gets busy. As time goes on, couples may feel like they’re no longer in sync or growing together. This can lead to resentment and other negative feelings about the relationship, which in turn pushes spouses further apart. It’s a vicious cycle that sometimes results in divorce.

How to move forward:

To reconnect with your spouse and grow closer as a couple, recreate the playfulness at the beginning of your relationship.

Plan small adventures, like getting away for the weekend or doing a fun cooking night at home.
Recreate past dates you both enjoyed and talk about your goals for the future.
Aim to do one kind thing for your spouse every day.

These are simple ways to build trust, reestablish connection, and remove resentment in your relationship.

5. Not adapting to change

Healthy, grounded people create healthy relationships. When relationships suffer, the individuals within those relationships also tend to suffer. If you are struggling in your marriage, it’s time to prioritize self-care in addition to focusing on your relationship with your significant other.

How to move forward:

When your relationship is shifting, being adaptable to change can help you get through the tough times.

Embracing change will help you maintain your sense of self and stay grounded even when things feel fast-paced or chaotic. A lot of times our natural inclination is to push back against change, but change can be a great thing for yourself and your relationship.

It starts with embracing change as a positive thing and learning to respond to all situations–even rough patches in your marriage–in a healthy way. Try the following tips to be more open to change and build a healthier marriage.

Understand that you both are constantly changing, evolving people. You will need to accept and embrace the new person you are today and do the same for your spouse, every day.
Never stop being curious. Try new things, learn new things about your spouse, and share things about yourself.
If you notice small things starting to annoy you or breed resentment, address them early on before they turn into big issues.

Big changes can be more of a challenge to overcome. If you need help with that or other marriage problems, including discussing divorce or getting through a divorce, I offer virtual appointments on a flexible schedule.

Schedule an appointment at Serene Shift now.

The post 5 Marriage Issues That Can Lead to Divorce (and How to Fix Them) appeared first on Serene Shift.

Coronavirus: 5 Hidden Positives the Media Doesn’t Talk About

sereneshift — Sat, 02 May 2020 00:53:30 +0000

Coronavirus: 5 Hidden Positives the Media Doesn’t Talk About

There’s no denying that times are tough. The COVID-19 outbreak has affected each of us emotionally, financially, and physically, with drowning media coverage continuously reporting negative news. It’s easy to lose sight of the positive parts of life.

In fact, as humans we are programmed to exaggerate external threats and danger. Although this kept us safe during our hunter-gatherer days, it’s not a particularly healthy behavior during a pandemic–it just leads to the global panic and anxiety that we’ve seen recently.

This is an opportunity for us to enhance our lives in a much more meaningful way, bringing good lessons with us as we emerge from this dark phase into a different and possibly better world. When there is a crisis, there is always space for a new light to shine through.

Let’s pause and take a moment to examine some of the good things that can arise during hard times. Below are just a few of the hidden positives about the coronavirus crisis that the media isn’t talking about.

1. Learning that some of the best things in life are free

During a crisis, our attention often gets redirected toward things we typically take for granted. When people have asthma, they may feel more grateful for breathing air into their lungs. Struggling with diabetes can provide an opportunity to shift our focus to appreciate eating healthy food that allows our bodies to feel balanced and energized. Someone with a broken arm may notice better movement in their shoulders.

Likewise, instead of dwelling on what we’ve lost during the coronavirus outbreak, many of us are finding new sources of fulfillment. It’s not that we don’t miss our “old” lives–of course we all do. But we’re also discovering simple pleasures that enrich daily life and don’t cost much.

My friends who loved eating out, going on exotic vacations, and visiting the gym daily before the coronavirus outbreak are now taking exploratory walks around their neighborhoods, learning to draw, and studying another language.

People all over the world are joining home workout groups online, where they encourage each other and share their progress. Virtual book clubs are on the rise and Joe Wicks, the now famous P.E. teacher, is leading free online exercise classes for kids.

Once lockdown is over, we may find that spending money is no longer our go-to when we’re looking for a fun way to fill the hours. Simply spending time together, pursuing a new hobby, or enjoying the great outdoors may be enough.

2. Expanding resilience and inner strength

Though many of us are experiencing unprecedented levels of anxiety and uncertainty, we’re also coping admirably under very difficult circumstances, drawing on strength and resilience we didn’t know we had.

Families are making do with less, finding creative ways to use what’s in their pantries and around the house to stay fed and entertained. Spouses and partners are finding ways to work through relationship challenges in close quarters, even strengthening their bond during these tough times.

Recently unemployed professionals are fighting through the anxiety and uncertainty every day, continuing to have hope for the future. Many of us are also taking time for ourselves–something that often gets relegated to the bottom of the to-do list in “normal” times.

Although we didn’t ask for this situation, we can get through it stronger than ever. Let’s focus on building up our reserves by practicing great self care, rather than allowing them to be depleted by a constantly evolving situation that brings new stresses on a daily basis.

We can take advantage of having a little more downtime than usual by learning to practice mindfulness and meditation, calming and centering techniques that can be built into our daily lives to help us face uncertainty with greater resilience.

It’s also important to practice greater self-compassion as we navigate this difficult time, and allow ourselves to feel a range of often conflicting emotions without judgment.

3. Really connecting with others

Instead of destroying or diminishing the bonds between separated loved ones, the COVID-19 outbreak has strengthened friendships and family ties, with many of us making more effort than ever before to stay in touch with those we usually depend on… and not just via social media and email, but by picking up the phone to hear their voice or see their face.

We’re appreciating our loved ones better than ever, remembering how much we need their practical and emotional support. Many of us are also making new connections during the crisis, through helping elderly and vulnerable neighbors, using social media to network for employment opportunities, and forming online support groups to share knowledge around issues like homeschooling.

Examples of kindness and generosity are evident on all social media platforms, with strangers helping each other track down job opportunities and supporting each other with motivational words.

These new friendships will outlast the current crisis and make us more attentive to the needs of those who live around us. We may also find it easier to ask for help when we need it in the future.

4. Taking a break from busy

Waking up without an action-packed to do list each day can be an unusual and challenging experience. We’re so accustomed to filling every waking moment with frantic activity that an abundance of downtime can feel foreign. Given a little time to adjust, it can also feel fantastic!

We are finally slowing down. Over-productivity, over-consumption, over-working, addiction, living in the past or future, trying to complete your entire to-do list–these are all imbalances COVID-19 can help us overcome.

I’ve heard from several parents who are enjoying a break from their fast-paced daily routine of working, helping with homework, chauffeuring kids to activities, getting ready for bed, and trying to fit in house chores. They’re using their newfound freedom and time to play board games with the kids, enjoy baking together, and making up games in the backyard.

None of us would have chosen this as our preferred way to rediscover free time, but a lot of us are grateful to take a break from busyness nonetheless. Without the need to live our lives at breakneck speed right now, we are embracing a new sense of acceptance. We’re learning how to mindfully inhabit the moment and find greater balance and calm.

5. Remembering what is most important

Raise your hand if you’re giving your family, health, and home a little more TLC lately. Getting caught up in a crisis has a unique way of showing us what is really important: our loved ones, good health, wellbeing, and surroundings.

The coronavirus outbreak has given us the opportunity to take stock and ask ourselves: Am I spending my time and energy on what really matters? Am I showing the right amount of care and compassion that I, and my loved ones, deserve? Am I communicating enough how much I appreciate them?

Instead of seeing the lockdown purely as a burden, many of us are beginning to regard this time as an opportunity to assess the way we usually live, and change our habits for the better.

We’re becoming more mindful of our health and kinder to our bodies. During normal times, it’s easy to get wrapped up in maintaining a certain physical appearance because we think that’s the key to looking good or feeling happy. We may even get plastic surgery to achieve these goals. During lockdown, many of us are focused more on staying healthy than trying to achieve an unrealistic body image.
We are more appreciative of how our society operates. We’re aware of the complex chain of production, supply, and maintenance that allows us to live the way we live.
We’re caring for others and reconnecting as a community. Being considerate of others is what defines our DNA and reminds us how we are all uniquely connected. Connection is what builds inner strength, not separation.

The world isn’t all sunny right now, but I think those are things to be grateful for… and that gratitude can actually help us get through this.

When we express gratitude, our brains release dopamine and serotonin, two neurotransmitters that provide an instant natural ‘lift.’ Practicing gratitude regularly and purposefully allows us to increase the default levels of these chemicals in our brains, leaving us happier on a daily basis. Gratitude is better for our health and better for those around us.

Focusing on the positives is not easy, but it is important

The world has weathered many storms and through it all, human beings have amazingly endured.

It’s up to us how we view the time we must spend on lockdown and where we place our energies during the outbreak. We can spend it focused on negative news outlets or on the positives that help us come out of this better than before.

I know this is easier said than done. If you’re experiencing depression, anxiety, fear, panic disorders, social isolation and loneliness, relationship or parenting challenges, and similar challenges, please reach out to me.

I’m here to help you and your family get through these hard times, and am available for virtual telehealth sessions using Zoom. I am also offering a sliding payment scale for anyone who needs assistance.

The post Coronavirus: 5 Hidden Positives the Media Doesn’t Talk About appeared first on Serene Shift.

[Coronavirus] 7 Secrets to a Happy Marriage in Close Quarters

sereneshift — Tue, 14 Apr 2020 19:50:14 +0000

[Coronavirus] 7 Secrets to a Happy Marriage in Close Quarters

With most states under “shelter in place” orders due to COVID-19, you’re probably spending more time at home with your partner than ever before. Tight quarters mixed with anxiety, fear, financial constraints, and uncertainty… well, that can create some difficult emotions.

Going through relationship issues is expected and absolutely okay! The good news is that this can be an opportunity for you to strengthen the parts of your relationship that need nourishing attention.

I’m sharing my insights gathered over years of counseling spouses and partners through a variety of relationship issues, as well as guiding couples through divorce. Here’s how to build a happy marriage in tight quarters.

1- Clear, respectful communication

Positive communication is essential throughout any great marriage, but even more important during the tough times. When things are chaotic, thoughtful and consistent communication with your partner can ease tensions and create a more harmonious living environment.

Create a list of personal boundaries you and your spouse might need. For example, when you first wake up in the morning, perhaps you need 10 minutes of alone time to check emails before any coffee or intimate interaction. Creating and honoring necessary boundaries will hopefully encourage more positive interactions and minimize negative ones.

When something does bother you, resist the temptation to “punish” your partner with the silent treatment or brooding until things boil over. Calmly and clearly discuss how to change or stop the behaviors that are causing you stress.

Try to focus on yourself and your own emotions rather than focusing on what your partner is doing or not doing. Homing in on what your partner “lacks” or is “doing wrong” will only exacerbate the situation.

If things become heated, take a bath or a walk to balance your emotions and brain. Continue a discussion only when you’re able to respond to your partner with control and intention, which will strengthen your bond.

Respectful communication habits like these will ensure that you’re treating your spouse as an ally, a loved one, and a source of support and comfort rather than as an enemy. Oftentimes, couples going through a divorce report that they and their former spouse stopped positively communicating long before deciding upon separation (and in fact, may be separating because of the lack of communication).

2- Dedicated date time

Carve out some time to reconnect with your partner every day, giving each other time and space to talk about your feelings, anxieties, and goals, and challenges. Do this whenever it works for your schedule, such as first thing in the morning or after the kids go to bed.

When you have a little more time to spend, don’t forget those weekly date nights! You may have to get a little more creative but that’s no reason to stop. Here are just a few ideas for indoor date nights:

Cooking a fancy meal together
Snuggling on the couch with a movie
Listening to an audiobook while sharing a bottle of your favorite wine
Playing a board game
Enjoying a collaborative video game, like Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime, Overcooked! 2, or Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes, a playful bomb defusal video game that requires clear communication and team strategizing to solve puzzles
Channeling your inner child and building a fort to cuddle in

Making dedicated date time a part of your routine reaffirms your commitment to building your marriage during difficult times–even if all you can spare is 10 minutes a day or a few hours per week.

3- Walking a mile in their shoes

Appreciate that your husband or wife is experiencing his/her own unique set of pressures and anxieties that may be completely different to yours.

For example, if your spouse was the main breadwinner and is now furloughed from their job, they may feel guilty about their current inability to provide. Or, if he/she is now trying to manage the kids’ e-learning, they may be floundering in their new role as teacher and stay-at-home parents.

Embrace compassion (for your spouse and yourself) and understand that we’re all doing our best. If they are frustrated in their new role and you’re frustrated at their negative feelings, take a moment to put yourself in your partner’s shoes. Practice compassion and empathy.

This will help you to understand the motivations behind their behaviors, so you have the emotional bandwidth to offer gentle support rather than harsh criticism. When you need support, ask your spouse to practice compassion in return. It’s more important than ever to face problems as a united front, which can help you build a stronger and happier marriage.

4- Keeping in touch

During lockdown, it may seem like members of the family are on top of each other–but you may actually be touching your partner less than normal as you grapple with anxieties about the current crisis.

Humans aren’t meant to be isolated; we’re stronger together. Reach out and touch your partner. Try a warm and reassuring hug, a gentle hand on the arm when the kids are pushing boundaries, a loving kiss, or more intimate touching if the mood is right.

Simple touches can go a long way. It naturally helps to build a happy marriage by communicating “I’m here with you” and releases the mood boosting hormone serotonin while lowering the stress hormone cortisol.

5- Self-care for you and your spouse

During this stressful period, you may find yourself neglecting the self-care you’d normally practice in favor of caring for others and taking on additional responsibilities.

If you don’t look after yourself during this difficult time, however, there will be nothing left to offer your partner or children. “Put your own oxygen mask on first” is a cliche, but it’s a cliche for a reason: you must take care of yourself to be able to give to others.

There are many ways to practice self-care during lockdown and alleviate rising stress, anxiety, and negative emotions–check out my favorite self-care tips designed to beat loneliness and isolation.

If you can’t find the time for self-care around caring for kids and doing chores, make a plan with your partner. Switch off taking care of the kids to give your spouse the opportunity to unwind or choose a code word to indicate self-care emergencies.

Tip: When it’s your turn to care for the kids, use these strategies to be present and connect more fully with them.

6- Rearranging your living space

Do you and/or your spouse need to work from home during lockdown? This is an easy road to arguments over how space, work time, and childcare are divided.

To minimize the stress of co-working and cohabitating, designate areas of your home for work, relaxation, and playtime. Move furniture if necessary, declutter spaces, and commit to keeping them clean and tidy. Discuss open/closed door policies so you and your spouse can both enjoy your space.

If you don’t have the space to designate two office areas, devise a schedule so that one partner takes the space for several hours before switching. This is also helpful if you’re juggling work with childcare, as everyone knows where they should be and what they should be doing at any given time–avoiding arguments over who takes responsibility for what tasks.

7- Imagining the future

It’s easy to get so caught up with daily struggles that we forget to look to the future. Someday this crisis will be over and life will return to normal, perhaps even better than it was before. Brainstorm some things you’d like to do with your partner, friends, and family when this is all over:

Vacations
Big career goals
Significant personal events like renewing wedding vows, planning for a baby, or moving
Smaller everyday things like returning to your favorite restaurant or gym
Long-term life goals

Making plans creates excitement over the future, provides something to look forward to, and most importantly, gives you something to build your marriage toward. Enjoy dreaming about your big and small goals, and enjoy being with your spouse in mindful ways while at home together.

If you need some extra marriage or relationship guidance during these stressful times, I offer virtual telehealth sessions using Zoom and can work around your schedule. I am also offering a sliding scale for anyone who needs assistance.

Please schedule your virtual telehealth appointment with me now.

The post [Coronavirus] 7 Secrets to a Happy Marriage in Close Quarters appeared first on Serene Shift.